R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
