She is in my trunk
time to smoke my breakfast
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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