what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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