I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
