Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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