I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
im on a boat
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