I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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