I hate your face
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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