I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
