She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
