I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
