I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
