lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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