i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
