nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
