I just threw up on my dentist
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
