Are we in a gay sports bar?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
