Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
