she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
