We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
