I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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