My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
FUCK WHALES
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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