why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I understand Curling. That high.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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