I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
