I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
