She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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