hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Randomize
