A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
