so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize