just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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