i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
