It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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