"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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