Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
