I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Randomize
