I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You are the jesus of drinking
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
