So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
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