stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
