I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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