You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
