HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
