I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
