I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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