Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
