Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
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