Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
