please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize