Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
