no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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