Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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