Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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