I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
