I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
