What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
