Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize