It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Sext me about skeletons
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
