Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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