Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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