Please, let me fuck your mom
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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