Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize