I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
