I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I need a beard to bite.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
