so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
