dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
