Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize