Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I wear drunk well.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
