Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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