So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
