my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
