TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize