is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
