Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
