Midget sex pt 2 tonight
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
