I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize